I don’t know if it’s because of Istanbul’s serious overcrowding, boasting a 16+ million denizens and the madness of cramped public transportation, but going to an ATM here makes you feel you are about to be mugged. I suppose because people are so used to a total lack of personal space, crowding into mini-buses, the metro, trains, shared taxis which are always filled to the brim no matter what time of day, Istanbullus do not feel the need to give people space when going to an ATM.
Having been mugged at gunpoint myself, the thought of someone almost up my ass when I am at an ATM fills me with no small measure of fear. I got into the habit of taking a step back while at the machine in order to somewhat violently knock into the person behind me to get them to move back. This doesn’t always work. I guess they are used to getting bumped into as well. Personally, I don’t like physical contact with strangers. Especially seeing the gross disparity between the men and women on the street, numbering 10 men to every 1 woman. I don’t like it. It makes me uncomfortable. Plus, many are Muslim and get some kind of sexual pleasure from knocking into women since the more fundamental they are the more sexually repressed they are.
It freaks me out. I cannot go to an ATM here without feeling the entire scope of what is wrong with this place. It is too crowded. People who are from here are too accustomed to the crowdedness that they don’t even think about personal space anymore. For someone used to the civilizing influence of personal space, this is serious culture shock. This is the discomfort of a foreign culture. This is the waiting to get the hell out of dodge.
*Afterward: Just a few weeks ago I was on a Prague tram heading into town and what caught my eye? There was a very long line at a Ceska Sporitelna ATM and there was a good six feet between the lady getting her cash and the next man waiting. Six feet! Two metres! I love the Czechs: they have a very healthy appreciation for personal space. I love Prague.
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Having a look at your “Turkish Delights” Sezin … or “annoyances”? Thought I totally see what you’re saying, my experiences here have not been as extreme as yours. Yes, being married to a Turk helps, and being older helps too…but speaking the language is key. One phrase in Turkish is a remarkable way to completely change a man’s demeanor toward me. And I can get a guy to back off at the ATM now with just a look. ;-P (No, I do NOT actually stick my tongue out!)
Makes me angry though (and Abit furious) that foreign women have to deal with any of this, and I’m guilty of confronting the worst offenders in polite but rather direct Turkish about their rude behaviour, making sure other guys around hear me. Perhaps they’ll think twice?
But Bakirkoy? Yikes – I would not have lasted a minute…
Hi Catherine! Thanks for reading these, and yes the whole “Turkish Delight” is loaded with as much irony as I could muster.
Bakirkoy was awful, and I do wonder if we’d lived in Kadikoy or Taksim whether I would have had a better experience. I’m so glad that you are able to negotiate your way through the masculinist demeanor politely and firmly. That in itself is an amazing skill that I am sure would translate into many other aspects of your life.
I am with you and Abit on being angry we have to deal with this stuff at all. So frustrating and can really change the tone of one’s experience, as it did me. That said, every place has it’s pitfalls and where I had to deal with the uncomfortable male gaze in Turkey, here in Prague it’s the distrustful gaze of the xenophobe. *Sigh*
Sometimes I wish I were younger and could get away with actually sticking my tongue out. Now THAT would make a point!