Category Archives: Expatria

The Ties That Bind

Five years ago at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, I met an amazing Californian Phillipina woman and we became fast friends, seeing in each other kindred spirits. Interestingly enough, it was the same year I met Paolo Coelho who told me: “Always keep your heart open; it will bleed, but it will heal.”…

Coupling

Life as an expat can be trying, in spite of its seeming glamourousness. One of the most difficult things I’ve noticed across the board is how hard it is to integrate with the locals of pretty much anywhere. What you find out is that especially in a place like Prague, with a great deal of…

How To Alienate Good People

A surefire way to alienate good folks and lose friends is by being fake. Fake people are the worst. To clarify, being fake is very different from being polite or professional. Being fake is pretending to be friends with people you can’t stand and not giving them even the slightest moment of pause to think…

Nibble Nibble Here, Nibble Nibble There

A strange local phenomenon: Czech people eat in public all the time. Not just normal eat-on-the-go types of foods like gyros, ice cream or pizza. You see them at tram and metro stops nibbling on peices of bread. Not French bread, or croissants, or even decent healthy-looking bread. It’s always the cheap, nasty Czech bread…

To Be Or Not To Be A Vampire

Prague is a demanding city. It gives so much, but it also takes a lot. Energy, life, money. These things exist in abundance here, but they also flow away so quickly. Prague is a vampire’s city. Shrouded in gray for more than three-quarters of the year, it is the perfect place for those who really…

Signs And Wondering

Since Wendy passed away, I have lived my life following signs from the Spirits. Especially during my time at the UN and in Spain it seemed as if every decision I made, the course of each of my days was defined by signs. Signs were everywhere. It got to the point that even people who…

Good Omens, Bad Omens

The year 2008, and so far six months living in Prague. Today is the first day the Sun has broken through the cloud cover and pierced the shield of this vampire city. I haven’t written for ages, and I think it was because my last blog incarnation of The TripWire went stale and my ideas…

A New Woman

Most people after they move into a new flat and area will explore and wander around to get their bearings. What did I do? I went and got tattooed. Twice. It was a bit nervewracking, going to get inked on a public transportation system I have but a fragile grasp of. But I did it…

Rocking In The Free World

The whirlwind that is Prague has engulfed me with a vengeance. The move from Istanbul was sad in its strange way, and mainly I will miss my cats (some of whom I didn’t even get to say goodbye to) and my seascape artwork on the apartment walls. Little things here and there, like cheap figs…

Turkish Delight Volume 17: The WasteLands – A Poem

Desperate shards of grass Gasp under an exhaust fog Crumbling brown Under the weight of industry’s poison. Muslim schoolgirls with their tartans And headscarves Combat boots Side by side burkah stilettos The manicured face peering through Ninja slits Scanning the lingerie storefronts Of crotch hugging jeans and Knee high boots. In a nation built on…

Turkish Delight Volume 16: A Day In The Life

Thankfully, we had CNBCe in our flat. CNN, BBC, BBC Prime and a business channel that showed really good movies and shows. While we lived in Bakirkoy we watched Desperate Housewives third season, day 5 of 24, My Name Is Earl, Scrubs, One Tree Hill, The OC, Without A Trace, Six Feet Under, Nip/Tuck, Heroes,…

Turkish Delight Volume 13: Working to the Bone: Turkey’s Protestant Work Ethic

The Turkish work ethic is insane. They work six days a week, many even work 7 days a week, and this is considered normal. Many Turks wouldn’t even think of asking for a vacation until they have worked that kind of schedule for at least two years. Many Turks never take vacation ever. The average…

Turkish Delight Volume 12: Up Your Ass: An ATM Experience

I don’t know if it’s because of Istanbul’s serious overcrowding, boasting a 16+ million denizens and the madness of cramped public transportation, but going to an ATM here makes you feel you are about to be mugged. I suppose because people are so used to a total lack of personal space, crowding into mini-buses, the…

Turkish Delight Volume 11: Stilettos and Headscarves

All around the world, we see examples of vast gulf between the theory and practice of religion. A warmongering Christian American president, who seems to not understand the basic tenets of Christianity that are peace, love and tolerance. Muslim fundamentalists who do not seem to understand or follow the teachings of Mohammed, the Prophet, who…

Turkish Delight Volume 10: Outside Honor: A Foreigner’s Perspective of Istanbul

When I moved to Istanbul, I was told that Turkey is an honour-based society. If a man follows me in the street or molests me in some way, I was to shout “Sherefsiz!” which means “Without honor!” and this would bring people running to my defence. What I came to learn is that Turkey is…

Turkish Delight Volume 9: It’s All the Same

After a lifetime of travelling, I am starting to notice that every place is more or less the same. Each place, albeit with a different culture and different lifestyles, has its positives and its negatives. Some wonderful things and some horrible things. In this way, all places begin to blend together and the aspects that…

Turkish Delight Volume 8: Out On A Limb

Her eyes are in a perpetual state of shock, pupils drowning in the sea green of fairies and fear. Her voice shakes; she grabs for food with a feral snarl and is startled by any and every sudden move. She is constantly on alert. She never stops watching her back. Last night, she slept in…

Turkish Delight Volume 7: Humping Cousins

Half of his Saturday class was conversation and today’s conversation was ‘Relationships.’ Anywhere else in the world, people would talk about their own relationships, the relationships of their friends or celebrities. But not in Turkey. In Turkey, a Muslim country progressive though it may appear is still a Muslim country, dating is the exception and…

Turkish Delight Volume 6: Transsexual Turkey

Another thing I learned about Turkey was their intense fear of transsexuals. Apparently, gangs of trannies would walk around the city and you were never to mess with them because they carried knives they were not afraid to use. At first, I was reminded of living in India with the hejira, a group of transsexuals…

Turkish Delight Volume 5: Circumspection

I didn’t learn as much about Turkish culture as I have about other places I’ve lived in, mainly because I didn’t really manage to make any Turkish friends while I was there. My options mainly consisted of Steve’s colleagues, who were fine and seemed very nice, but for some reason people in the teaching English…

Turkish Delight Volume 4: Tommy and the BakirKats

I heard tell of a story in the Quran that a cat once fell asleep on the prophet Mohammed’s cloak and instead of waking the cat or chasing it away, he cut around the cat and left it sleeping on the cat-shaped bit of cloth. Because of this story, many Muslims apparently venerate cats (and…

Turkish Delight Volume 3: The Live-In Aquarium

Up until moving to Bakirkoy, Istanbul I had worked doing all kinds of things. Translator, human rights reporter, editor, grant writer, archivist, etc. I had been hoping to get back into human rights again and thought that Istanbul would be great seeing that my first memories of the place were with my mother, the UNICEF…

Turkish Delight Volume 2: Home Sweet Home

When most people think of Istanbul they think of the Aya Sophia, the Blue Mosque, the Bosporus, the old waterfront mansions, and beautiful Ottoman architecture. That certainly was what I thought about Istanbul before we moved there. It would have been nice if someone had told us that my husband and I wouldn’t actually be…

Volume 1: Turkish Delight — An Introduction

Through The Peephole: A Foreign Woman’s Tales of Istanbul I moved to Istanbul in August 2006 with the highest of hopes. Maybe it was therein where lay the rub. I had visited the city formerly known as Constantinople a decade earlier with my mother and thought it was one of the greatest places on God’s…

Adaptation

They say that adaptation is one of nature’s most painful of processes, and for the seasoned traveller, it is no different. After having not only travelled, but lived in many different places, one begins to realise that it is impossible to be the same person everywhere. Behaviours that are acceptable in America are not acceptable…

The Learning Curve

Duckie’s learning curve is not that great. She kept her distance from the doorways after I threw things at her to scare her away, but today she is boldly strutting right back into our house. This got me thinking about learning curves in general and yesterday’s massacre at Virginia Tech. It seems that something horrible…

Absolut Inebriation

As distasteful a drink as vodka is, when you have allergies that prevent you from drinking anything else then you must simply get used to it. Come to love it almost. Sometimes I wonder whether I was Russian in a past life because the only alcohol my allergies permit me to imbibe is vodka, because…

Spain: Not Many Reasons To Smile

After so many years of travelling and living around the world, I have finally learned that there is a huge difference between spending a couple weeks somewhere on holiday and living there full time. When I first went to Spain it was indeed on holiday to Barcelona and I was enchanted. I had always wanted…

Chicken Is Not Pork and Why Istanbul Is Like A Bad Boyfriend

I was beginning to think that this dismal city has sucked the life out of my cooking because nothing I spend a lot of time making comes out that good (whoa, sounds eerily like what I said about my short-lived newspaper experience…), or comes out just plain bad. Until I had a drunken epiphany very…

Six Feet Under, an HBO production, 2001-2005

When this show first came out I was in the beginning of dealing with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after the death of my good friend and during that time I could not even hear death related words without falling into PTSD panic attacks and flashbacks to Wendy’s murder. The commercials for this show totally freaked…

La Comunidad

If ever there were an accurate portrait of Spain, La Comunidad is it. Did you ever see “The ‘Burbs”? Well, this is the Spanish version but far more accurate. Nosy neighbors, nice only to bide the time whilst they wile away your demise to get what they want from your remains. The unveiled hatred of…

Work Will Set You Free

I feel like the Turkish Daily News came into my life for a few specific reasons, and namely the people I connected with while I was there. Also, it gave me something to keep my mind focused on with Uma being in the hospital. I think if I were home alone all day it would…

Turkish Lessons

They say you can’t know Turkey or understand anything about its people without having your job threatened by management or by getting fired. Today I just learned the latter Turkish lesson as I was fired today from my job at the Turkish Daily News. At first, it stung. That was pride fucking with my head,…

I am Lester Burnham

The blow-out with Pregnant Boss, the subject of the last few blogs and my recent copy editing exile status, was caused by my pointing out to her the extreme double standard that the Turkish Daily News works under. Certain people, for a variety of reasons, do not get edited. Even if their article is an…

A Sinister Sunday

Sunday’s are no longer a day of quiet leisure and relaxing with my secret pleasures of ‘The OC’ and ‘One Tree Hill.’ In lieu of catching the only work shuttle to the Hurriyet Media Tower where I wile my days away trapped on the top floor like the princess I used to imagine I was,…