it is impossible to know

and for once, i will not write a love letter
but a poem
and this poem
will express my discontent
because i do not know
and there is a song playing
that makes me feel like crying
or maybe i am just drunk
but in this moment
i want to say
that i do not know
what love means when said such as this
this is enough just love
is it enough to just say love
to make it so
to force it into being
or is this just wishful thinking
to have have to have have faith
to have faith
that what i believe is true
or what i wish is true
or what i whish was blue in
the sky oryou or you the blue that you make me
the blue blue blue of brown eyed tears
the mistrust of brown soul fears
the waiting for some acid tears
i want to clean this, bear this without anyone knowing why
to forget why why why
this inebriated wondering why
it is so important to spell correctly
i wish these people would leave
so i could watch my movie and cry quietly.
just leave me please
in this quiet suicide thinking
just leave me quite pleased with where i have dug myself
this time so deep.


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