Expatria · Spain

not so random thoughts

*teaching english sucks ass

*why do ex-girlfriends/boyfriends write slanderous meanness on webpages or in emails, then when something real or imaginary (as the case may be)happens the first person they think to call crying to is the one they have been trying to convince themselves they cannot live without by being an asshole? is this because they want their ex to feel sorry for them? don’t they have any other friends? or better yet, when they write emails to people they met and have no friendship with whatsoever who they came into contact with during an uninvited surprise visit to their ex in order to cause as much pain and suffering as humanly possible (there is a chance sometimes that the ex is not even human and in fact some strangely pliable form of artificial intelligence) and discuss with this new aquaintance (who happens to be a good friend of the couple) about how they will be coming back for a vacation, read: to cause more trouble because they are a wealthy asshole with too much time and money and boredom on their hands.

*why does teaching english suck so much? is this a lack of patience that i should work on? or is this proof that teaching english is not my calling?

*why am i so tired these days? possibly the heat, possibly teaching english, possibly i am just tired of this place? maybe i am just tired of ex’s that won’t let go and for all their posturing and big-talking are nothing more than cowardly lions? maybe there are too many ghosts here?

*i am feeling the urge to cut my hair very short. i am feeling the urge to get more stars around the star tattoo on my shoulder. in fact, now that i have started tattooing my shoulder i am thinking i maybe want lots more on the shoulder. i didn’t think it would affect my jewellery wearing ability, but since it is only on the one shoulder a necklace looks highly illogical and so i think more tattoos may be in order. but colorful ones. i was thinking a bright green star for wendy, a yellow one for my greatgreatgreat gypsy gramma, a white one for the lilies my polish gramma loves, a red one for my momma and dadda, a black and white one for cubby. that makes six stars. six is the number for lovers, since the original star is steve and i…i think there is some poetry there.

*why are people on power trips? one of the course trainers insists on keeping people at school until all hours as he writes evaluations. i am convinced this is not because he wants to do the best job, i feel it is because he is not the head trainer and he has control/domination issues. not to mention the fact that he is constantly dropping things and walking into things. what is up with that?

*i hate playstations because they are too sensitive to scratches and we tried to watch a crazy weird david cronenberg movie (eXistenZ) and the fucking thing broke down right at the end. i know the movie backwards and forwards, but steve had never seen it before, and the ending is too strange to describe without sounding like a crazy person. i hate playstations. when i get paid i am buying us a proper DVD player and that’s it.

*why is the world cup so boring? football is boring. all kinds. it irritates me. i hope switzerland wins. dammit, i just remembered switzerland is out. fuck it all to hell. if spain wins people will be drunk and stupid on the streets. in fact, when are they not drunk and stupid here? hm.

*i am just procrastinating now because i don’t want to do all my work for the absurd course. thank Goddess i will be finished with it by thursday. this has sucked some hard-core ass.

*i’m tired.

*signing off. now.


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