written on the back of one of the odes you wrote to me
in what was blank spaces i painted in pink and green and red a bunch of swirls and palm trees and you flying with your wild curly hair and i write:
six years later and the wishing you were here is wishing you were here
ode to you, dear one, Angel of Life and Rebirth
this is my song for you, the one where i tell you how much i love you
and how much of love you have become
before i break down i won’t break down again, i want to tell you
here’s to today and to your memory
the every moment, the every hug the every wonderment you brought
the survival you nudged me along with a smile or a kick in the ass
here’s to you, a toast to you, some toast on your beauty
your joy, your vivid eyes, the chuckle of glee
sitting with your guitar singing so earnestly
i am looking for your footprints because i want to follow
i want my feet in each of your steps, not just the steps
the lovelight around each pace whose marks will never leave this earth
there is no lakota mourning rain that will wash your tracks
from this earth or my heart.
where a stamp would go but i don’t need one because this love letter is also a prayer and you have heard it already:
october 28, 2006
today i will
love you so much.
damn, we miss you so fucking much, wendy. always.
help us make it not hurt so much, please.
say hi to river, okay?