Expatria · Politics · Spirituality

it's the little things

i think it must be a combination of the mercury retrograde and my budding friendship with starlight shannon, but i have been feeling very accomplished of late. the mercury retrograde for most everyone creates miscommunication and muddles, but since i was born when mercury was in retrograde motion, i always feel the best when his movement slows down. it is the time when it’s easiest for me to talk about what i am feeling and i feel very balanced and calm. the flip side is that everyone else is all messed up and feeling funny, but somehow i am more solid to help them through it.

so many wonderful little things are happening that add up to a lot of happiness and contentment in my life. our aqua-themed apartment is really starting to take shape. when we have a camera i will most definitely be taking pictures, but it’s just fantastic. our place was really a dump when we moved in, and i have basically been using the cracks in the paint and imperfections in the walls to design various sea creatures. it is so much fun looking at the walls and connecting the scratches in a way that suits the underwater theme. shannon said that she loves coming over to our house because each time she comes over, there is something new and funky decorating the walls. what a nice thing to say!

afghanistan has been in the news once again and i guess even though the war there ended years ago, there has been a serious resurgence of the taliban! dude, what the hell is going on over there? and then iraq! 100 american soldiers killed just last month, and president bush won’t admit the 600,000 iraqi civilian deaths since the beginning of the war three years ago. what!?!?!?! the elections are soon and even the thought of people voting does not soothe me. i’ve seen some of the ad campaigns for both democratic and republican candidates and i was not impressed. not one bit. something about backbiting and nasty smear campaigns doesn’t really get me in the voting mood. i do hope the sentiment is different in the US of A. i won’t be able to vote this time because i have moved so many times this year my voter registration is all confuserated and i have to wait to re-register. maybe for the 2008 elections i will register to vote in florida, that’s one of the swing states…i need to get that organised.

the lightening of my spirit has been a welcome change to the dark sadness i felt trapped in for so many months. i am sure it is a result of many things, the detoxing of spain’s negativity, my new girlfriend shannon, readjusting to our new life in istanbul, and the mercury retrograde. but it sure feels nice to be back. today, i was noticing how leaves dance around in the street. one of my favorite things about the film ‘american beauty’ is the scene with the plastic bag. people make fun of that scene and are cynical of its beauty, but this last time when i saw the film i really got it. i watched the plastic bag being battered around and i could see the hand that was moving it. when i see the leaves dancing around town, it is the same thing. like God gives us a moment to see Her in all Her glory. She is all around us, all at once. as i start to remember The Creator’s presence everywhere i feel more connected to the strangers walking by me on the street. that i can step outside my house, walk around for a little while and remember that this world is full of people living their lives, laughing, loving and praying. i haven’t felt like this is some time, and i remember i used to feel like this all the time. nothing bothered me because everything and everyone was connected, and i felt God through each step and each breath. today, i kept getting the sensation that there was someone walking close behind me and i would turn around to move out of the way. there was never anyone there! whoever is with me, their presence is sure appreciated and i feel so much love. it’s been too long since i have felt this and i will nurture the feeling to grow it back to its previous strength.

i begin my new job this weekend, too. i’m kind of nervous about it, and the class i will be teaching is 4 hours long (!!!) but i am also excited. it is only two days a week and it feels like the right time to do it. oddly enough, when we were leaving spain i sent a box that was full of work clothes and odds and ends, with the intention that i wouldn’t really need it right away since i wasn’t going to teach. the box got here the day after i decided i would be teaching! we thought the box was lost as we sent it just days after our other four boxes which got here 3 weeks after our arrival in turkey. i haven’t really felt like seeing signs until recently, but now all of a sudden they are everywhere again. i know that teaching is part of why i was brought here with steve so it is time to begin complying with what Destiny has in store.

and steve, the love of my life. sigh. moving to istanbul was such a good thing for us to do and it is amazing how each day i realise how much more i love him. you just don’t realise it is even possible until you wake up and think, wow, even more love for him today! wow! imagine in 10 years. wow. my cup runneth over.

it is so wonderful to have been guided back towards looking at the bright sides of life. each day has exactly the same potential. it is in our hearts to decide if it will be a good day or a bad day. now that’s what i call empowerment!


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