Frost Bites 2024 · Horrorthon365 · Microreview · Movies · Much Ado About Keanu

Frost Bites 2024: Keanu Reeves’ Only Erotic Thriller ‘Siberia’ Is a Winter Heist Thriller as Bleak as the Sex Is Hot

[Before I fell and fractured my elbow so badly I needed a titanium implant to fix it, I’d already written a bunch of microreviews for my #Horrorthon365 project. I’m just gonna go ahead and post them even though I’m not sure I’ll be able to see this project through the way I’d planned. And if you’re so inclined, you can contribute to my elbow reconstruction fundraiser here.]

One of the fascinating aspects of Keanu Reeves is that in spite of his sex symbol status for almost the entirety of his career, his films rarely feature on-screen sex. Like, take a sec. Stop and think about it.

Right? Hardly any examples come to mind because there are so few of them.

But that is not the case at all for Keanu’s 2016 diamond heist thriller ‘Siberia,’ which features almost uncomfortably graphic sex scenes between Mr Reeves and his on-screen lover Katya (Ana Ularu), in pointed homage to the 90s erotic thrillers of yore.

But these steamy scenes are in direct contrast to the blizzard landscape of Siberia in winter, where diamond smuggler Lucas Hill (Reeves) is entangled in a plot to rip off a sadistic Russian mafia don Boris Volkoff (Pasha D Lynchnikoff). In the mix are a handful of missing blue diamonds, as well as Lucas’ inadvertent new mistress Katya, a much younger woman he falls into, I mean in with after finding out his wife (Molly Ringwald) has been cheating on him.

While technically not a horror movie, there is plenty terrifying about this film. And not just the extreme cold of Siberia, as Lucas’ missteps forfeit his life. The scenes of sexual violence orchestrated by sadistic Boris leave a different kind of chill even though they (thankfully) happen off screen.

This movie has a brutal ending that’s as bleak as the weather. And even though ‘Siberia’ is regularly on worst-of lists for Keanu Reeves, I really love it. And I think y’all might dig it too if you give it a chance. There is a lot to feel here.

✨Vodka/5 stars. Highly recommend, especially for folks who miss those wild erotic thrillers of the 90s.✨

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Zuzu Zombie’s #Horrorthon365 project is a collection of eclectic genre watchlists with accompanying microreviews to suit the changing seasons. Horrorthon365 was sparked by a gnarly hand injury and carpal tunnel surgery gone awry, hence the flash-style reviews. After a wicked fall at home and brutal elbow fracture that required surgery, posts will be sporadic until I’m healed. In the meantime, browse the entire collection here