Everything we do in life requires some level of preparation. Our jobs, our hobbies, our dinners. It gives us a chance to get all our ducks in a row before moving on with a project, and even the smallest amount of preparation tends to make the end result better.
What’s strange is that I’ve been noticing more and more that I need time to prepare even for the most simple of interactions. Like having people over, or going out, or even simple phone conversations. I need to psyche myself up and mentally prepare in ways that I’ve never had to before. The spontaneous drop-in’s are not welcome, nor are last-minute plans. In fact, I find myself getting angry at people who aren’t able to think or plan ahead, even if I haven’t seen or hung out with them in a while.
Is this a product of getting older? Or is it that I’m far to comfortable in our lovely flat and marriage bubble to be bothered by spur-of-the-moment events? Could it be that this intense need for down time and carefully controlled outings is itself a sign that something big is on its way for which I am unconciously preparing?
Whatever the answer, I am revelling in the first quiet and calm period of my life in years and hoping that regardless of what happens in the future it will stay this way.